Monday, July 13, 2009

Preying on insecurities for me, but not for thee!!

Supposing I wanted to make money of the insecurities of many African-American women in regards to dating and relationships. How would I go about trying to profit from their desperation, loneliness, frustration and bitterness? How would I sell myself as some "expert" or "teacher" without actually being an expert or teacher?

Well, I'd probably start out by surveying the current "market" I am attempting to poach. I'd collect all types of statistics that will bolster my arguments and opinions and frame the "revelation" as something that no one has said or heard before. I will display myself as a martyr, a lone beacon of light in an otherwise dark and cold world, a revolutionary - a Sojourner Truth type. In order to distinguish myself from the legions of others giving advice to black women, I will promote something "radical" and different and NEW.

I will basically do the same things that others have done for decades but promote myself as being better than them because I will "put black women and their desires first":

But before I do that, I just need y'all to pay $12.99 for my electronic book. It's really for your own good - I am not trying to make money off the fact that you're desperate and over 35 with a child out of wedlock.

Please ignore the fact that my graphics looks like something from 1995 and I use a plethora of mismatching fonts and my product looks like a "Fuck Effort" production. All the information you need is right here in this book of essays that I lifted from the blog you have already read. I disabled comments so that all the comments in the book will seem like "fresh and new" material. I will bait you with the belief that there is even more that I haven't "taught" you. Clearly you don't know how to find a man or keep him interested in you to the point where he'd want to spend the rest of his life with you. If you did, you wouldn't be on my site looking for validation for your singlehood. So, sista girl, just drop $16.97 on the electronic version of my essays. It's for your own good. I am not trying to make money off you, I am LIVING WELL. I don't need to exploit black women. I just need to be compensated for giving you useless advice.

But please remember this:

This man is preying on your insecurities and trying to manipulate you into being slaves to black men. He is giving you sexist advice and does not have your best interests at heart. He is just trying to hustle you. I mean, he has been divorced TWICE! I have only been divorced ONCE! Don't trust him girl. He just wants you to be lonely and desparate so he can seduce you and bed you and get you pregnant and leave you.

And don't fall for any of that "black love" nonsense. It does NOT EXIST. You are better off living in reality. Don't even get your hopes up about dating a black man because they dont want you. Teach your daughters that they don't want them either. Send them off to preschool with a picture of Haley Joel Osment in their pocket and a prayer. Let them know early that they have a better chance getting a little white boy to feel them up on the playground than a little black one.

So in closing, I just want to reiterate that I am not trying to sell you anything. I care about YOU. I want YOU to be happy and to be better. I just also think you need to pay a little something extra to get the REAL DEAL.



  1. A least those books are cheaper than a t-shirt. But the t-shirt will keep them warmer.

  2. So sad that they prey on the weak.

  3. Yep I see it all the time and these poor insecure black women don't get that many of these products are simply a hustle. Recently my mother asked me to get her the Steve Harvey book, which i did. Much of the book is common sense.
    It's become big business to prey on the insecurities of black women. Do get it twisted they've been hustling white women for years.

    I'm not mad at Steve Harvey's hustle. But I recognize it though.
    If people are willing to buy snake oil believing it to be the panacea to all your ills, who am I to say that it's wrong, and if it makes them a happier, more well adjusted person go ahead and buy two.